Not so long ago, I was a devout non and anti smoker. “Smoking will kill you!” I remember fearlessly advocating to a bunch of smoke-devotees, a couple of years ago. And yet, here I am, thoughtlessly taking in a puff after the other, finishing a pack after another.
What happened there? Well, my perspective changed. Circumstances helped.
When you are at the border of the carelessness of University and the threshold of a competitive,unforgiving and ruthless Adulthood, an uncertain future can truly overwhelm your character. The recurring thought of where your next penny shall come from can be draining on your mental strength. And with a grade-sheet replete with blunders forever reminding you that your academic career had peaked long ago leaves a sting that poisons your confidence.
And when you are fighting heavy odds, I speak from my experience, a puff lets you focus. At first, its the smoke and later the nicotine that blinds the less important matters and lets you concentrate on issues that are truly life threatening. Maybe its the Biology- a desperate act of a brain devoid of Oxygen switching to survival mode. May be its ‘the myth’. May be its just something else. Point is, it helps! And it has helped me through the trying times of job search.
I do not know if I am an addict yet. I can go without it for days at times. But I miss it nevertheless.
Who would have thought that situation can change a man so much that he longs for the very thing he despised? But then, I know my life is full of changes. Sharp turns, hair pin bends and in this case, a U-turn. Change, after all Is My Life.